The Office: 4x08

The Office

4x08
The Deposition
and
QUOTES

What do you do when your favorite television show airs an absolute gem of an episode and then goes off the air indefinitely?

Tell me!

I chose to put off watching it as long as possible, because honestly, this week was funny, heartfelt and a little bit of everything I love about Dunder Mifflin, but it wasn't anything akin to a season finale. I refuse to accept it as a season finale. Or acknowledge it as one. The entire 22 minutes, all I could think was - what if The Strike steals my season. Where will it pick up next year? Will they skip all those months ahead? What about the tease we were given for the next episode - the one where they had their best table read ever?

So, Michael. See, I love him. I really, truly do. From the cold open with the Post-Its (hysterical), to the deposition and his diary, he has absolutely NO social skills, but if you're loyal to him, he's loyal - to an almost creepy fault - to you. It should be interesting to see how (if we ever get to) his actions at the deposition filter down into what he and Jan have going on. Plus, I laughed for days at some of his lines (see quotes post) - and then, the pushing Toby's tray off the table. CLASSIC. You know I love some Michael/Toby hate and just when poor Toby was sharing his heart ... Michael reconfirms all the reasons why Toby asked Kelly what it felt like to slap her boss.

Jim and Pam are still the cutest. And even if her boyfriend is 12, Pam has it a million times better than Kelly, who has to resort to talking smack - not trash - in order to feel good about her relationship. And the guys, all they wanted to do was play... I definitely enjoyed the Dwight commentary and expertise on the game and the tag at the end with him and Mose was hysterical. Alas, if I dwell to long on any of this goodness, it makes my heart ache with emptiness.

***

Jan: We went over it carefully … and just so that we wouldn’t leave anything up to chance or Michael’s judgement.

Pam: Sometimes I bring him juice. My boyfriend is twelve.

Kelly: What has two skinny chicken legs and sucks at ping pong?

Kelly: I don’t talk trash. I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, “Your momma is so fat, she could eat the Internet.” But smack talk is, happening like, right now. Like, “you’re ugly and I know it for a fact, ’cause I got the evidence. Right there.”

Pam: Kelly's trash talking me because Darryl's beating you.
Jim: What? Seriously? What's she saying.

Kelly: Your boyfriend is so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball.

Kelly: Were Jim’s parents first cousins that were also bad at ping pong?

Jim: Bring me players.

Michael: Are you renewing your divorce vows before my deposition?
Toby: Michael I'm your HR rep. I'm on your side.
Michael: Never. I want him gone. I don't talk until he leaves.

Jan: People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at.

Lawyer: How long have you known the plaintiff?
Michael: I haven’t actually seen it, but I have seen The Firm, and I’m planning on renting The Pelican Brief.

Lawyer: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael: Six years and two months.
Lawyer: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael: That’s what she said.
Lawyer: Excuse me?
Michael: (slowly) That’s what she said.

Michael: Come again? That’s what she said.

Michael: Delivery’s all wrong. She’s butchering it.

Lawyer: Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
Michael: She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what, I call them.
Lawyer: Can you be more specific. Who are the twins?
Michael: To be delicate, they hang off milady’s chest. They … make milk.
Lawyer: You don’t have to go any further.

Michael: And frankly, the timing was nothing short of predominant.

Michael: Well, it depends on how you define “begin.”

Michael: Line.
Lawyer: I’m sorry, what?
Executive: He asked for a line, like in a play.

Court reporter: [reading transcript] Mr. Scott do you realize you just contradicted yourself. I did? Yes you did. Can I go to the bathroom? No. I really have to I've been drinking lots of water. You went five minutes ago. That wasn't to go to the bathroom that was to get out of a question. You still have to answer it. First can I go to the bathroom. No.

Michael: I throw myself at the mercy of the deposition.

Lawyer (reading Michael’s diary): “Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee.”

Lawyer (reading Michael’s diary): “More tomorrow. XOXO, Michael.”

Toby: Um … could you make it 11?

Lawyer (reading Michael’s diary): “Just as hot as Jan, but in a different way.”

Michael (reading Jan’s statement): “I am out of carrots. I am out of sticks.”

Dwight: He has gone from completely hopeless to simply miserable.

Dwight: He works here, dumb ass.

Lawyer (reading David Wallace’s statement): “What do you want me to say? C’mon, he’s a nice guy.”

Kelly: The floppy-haired girl you date won a point.

Michael: You expect to get screwed by your company. But you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.

How many more do we get?

From what I've gathered via Ausiello, Spoilerfix and various show-specific sites, here's how many episodes we have left of the following (give or take), before the Writer's Strike eats them.

Monday:
Chuck - 5 more
How I Met Your Mother - ?
Heroes - 3 more
Samantha Who - 7 more
Journeyman - ?

Tuesday:
Reaper - between 2 and 4 more
House - 5 more

Wednesday:
Pushing Daisies - 3 more
Private Practice - 3 or 4 more
Gossip Girl - 5 more

Thursday:
The Office - 1 more (cue gnashing of teeth)
Grey's Anatomy - 4 more

Friday:
Friday Night Lights - 9 more

Sunday:
Brothers and Sisters - 5 more

--

So, about 5 more weeks of solid television before it all starts to taper off. Thanks goodness FNL gets it done and will be with us well into the new year - just in time for LOST to begin. And then end again. (Don't get me started right now.)

Heroes: Thoughts on being a Sophomore

I can't just discuss tonight's episode. No. At the moment, Heroes needs more than a snarky recap and a pretty picture of Milo. It needs... a mother's discipline.

See, Heroes is a cool show. I wouldn't exactly call it the smartest, or best written hour of entertainment, but in Season One, it was actually entertaining. It was different and unpredictable and full of cool characters and merging storylines. And it held my attention, kept me wanting, became Must See TV.

Then Hiro landed in feudal Japan and that girl started crying black tears.

Here's what makes Heroes tick: Plot twists, multiple stories and characters, entwined without their knowledge, pushing toward one, big agenda. Season One's agenda was clear from the beginning. Hell, we even got slogans for each phase of the plan. (Say it with me, Save the Cheerleader... save the world.)

Season two's direction was made clear ... last week. Somewhere around the SEVEN episode mark. There's a virus, it's gonna kill them all. The heroes have to fix it. Why did it take so long to get there?

I read a recent interview with Tim Kring (which made me hopeful), in which he owned up to several sophomore issues. Most importantly:

1. Late introduction of the season's purpose (plague wiping out civilization, gotta stop it). I seriously had no idea what the hell any of them were doing until last week. Storyline was/is all over the place. I mean, they mentioned the virus, but then with all the ancient warriors and brain boxes, it was hard to make it fit. And I'm still wondering on B story with the older generation being killed off (I'm suspecting by Adam).

2. The Seven Years in Tibet storyline, or whatever that crap was with Hiro living in his childhood storybook. The payoff with Takezo K./Adam turned out to be cool, but it could have been done sooner. Waaaaay sooner. Like, before there were ever Cherry Blossoms involved.

3. New characters. Seriously, I'm less interested in Maya, Alejandro and Monica than that infomercial where the guy screams about four types of kitchen cleaner. They Nikki and Paolo'd it with the first two, and Monica, poor thing... what's the point? Then there's West. Don't get me started. I mean ... what can I say? That kid totally goobs me out with his Peter Pan flying and dumbass dialogue.

That said, the newbies aren't ALL bad.

1. Elle. The four minutes of screen time Kristen Bell got in episode five, were the most entertaining of the season at that point, and shot her to immediate status as a character I'm actually interested in, want to figure out. And not because I'm already partial (which I am) and think she's fantastic (which she is), but because the character maintained the mystery of Season One. She has a purpose, she has secrets, she's got layers. To me, she's on par with Sylar in that way. Completely unpredictable and totally enthralling. LOVE how Bell is playing her, too. Sadistic little girl. Amazing.

2. Adam. Yes, the Japanese storyline was crap, but the twist - that he's immortal and because of Hiro's tampering, living in present day, carrying a 400 year old grudge and a sexy English accent - awesome. We all knew early in the season that David Anders been made a regular, which left me wondering HOW. Pretty cool payoff - plus, he has GOT to have some connection to Claire, right? (Note that everything I'm saying in this paragraph goes back to the reasons listed as what makes the show tick. Coincidence? I think not.)

As for plot this season, it's hard to comment because I've yet to see anything cohesive. And now I'm sad because it looks like things are about to shift gears (because Kring says he hears his audience!), just in time for an early season finale due to the WGA Strike.

Tonight's episode was probably the best of the season. Why? Oh, I don't know... because we finally found out about the characters we care for, Peter got his freakin' memory back and there was some payoff! And I won't lie, the preview for next week looks awesome. This beach-bound showdown with Mohinder and HRG and The Company. Exchanging Claire for Elle - all good things.

And only three left to give us some closure to a less than stellar, and incomplete season.

Damn you AMPTP!

Thoughts on Striking...

See, I get it.

I do.

I think it sucks because it's the middle of the television season and fans are getting left in the lurch. Shows are hitting their stride, mid-story, and it's possible the viewers will have to wait over a year for seasonal conclusions to already scarce shows (LOST), while baited with the promise of an upswing from faulty stories in others (Heroes). Nevermind the super quick shut down of favorites like The Office, teasing its best table read EVER!

I may go insane.

Not that I think the actors and writers and directors are using this as an excuse for vacation because they don't want to be at work, churning out episodes. If there's anything I learned from my short time in Hollywood, it's that those people are workaholics - seriously. To a fault.

I think the cast and crew is as sad about Dunder-Mifflin sitting empty as I am. Well, probably more when it comes to crew, because let's face it, this strike is NOT good for the grips and the PAs and all the other hardworking little guys making a living on set.

But if there's anything I love, it's a display of solidarity.

My husband is in the entertainment industry, so I know what residuals mean and why they're important. If someone tried selling his CD's or posting their songs on iTunes and left them out of the cut, I'd be there with my own picket sign (even though I think I'd be the only one - have musicians ever gone on strike?), knocking on the proverbial door.

So, yeah, I think the writer's deserve their cut because it's true, in a few years, New Media and the Internet will be an even bigger monster in this industry than they are now. It's strange to me that TV and Movie scribes aren't automatically figured into the deal, because without them, we wouldn't have television. No company would spend millions of dollars in advertising funds for a slot during NBC's Thursday night because characters as ingenious as Dwight Schrute and Veronica Mars would be figments of our imagination (aren't they kind of anyway), LOST would be nothing but a word normally printed in lower case letters, we'd never have heard the charming tale of Ned the Piemaker, and Prime Time wouldn't exist.

Writers ARE television.

Sure, they're important for movies, but TV is the writer's medium. They produce it, they live it, they star in it, they ... write it. The director doesn't get the glory because he comes in for one episode and leaves. It's the guys and girls in the writer's room, under a florescent light at 3 a.m. who run the show - and they do deserve to be compensated.

So, I get it.

I support the strike - what it stands for - 100%.

Still, while I KNOW it's not about greed - it's NOT - if I'm totally honest, there's this little nagging voice in the back of my brain that's kind of annoyed because the average writer in Hollywood makes about $200,000 a year (putting them in something like the top 1% of earning elite in this country) and the ones who are between jobs, working sporadically, make around $62,000 a year (almost twice the average national salary). Granted, Hollywood is an unpredictable place, and a few years from now, that once viable writer may need to live off their residuals while they look for work with the rest of us Regular Joes, so I can't really begrudge them at all - but I can't feel totally sorry for them either, when I'm living with a struggling musician and trying to find a job! Of course, it's people like me, obsessed with the Hollywood product, that make it the norm for salaries in that industry to inflate past people like teachers and social workers, so I can't get too upset can I?

No, dang it, I can't!

Get me the AMPTP, I want my TV back!!!