Thursday, April 12, 2007


The Office
3x19: Safety Training

Andy: I've got a new attitude and a new name. And a bunch of new techniques for dealing with "the grumpies."

Andy: Call me Drew.
Jim: No. I'm not gonna call you that.

Dwight: It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from age 4 until my 6th birthday. For not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

Jim: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and... he could use a hug.

Dwight: Jim! Tell him!
Jim: (Softly) Andy... No, it's too far.
Dwight: Damn you.

Michael: Today is Safety Training Day. Toby is leading ours upstairs... ick.

Michael: Pudge has driven the forklift.
Madge: Madge.
Michael: I thought your name was Pudge.
Madge: No, it's always been Madge.
Michael: Okay...

Michael: Toby now has the floor, and he is going to try not to screw this up like everything else in his life.

Toby: You know, anything that warms you.

Sea Monster: You got fat butt disease, Mike?
Kelly: Excuse me, Sea Monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds.

Darryl: You live a sweet, little, Nerfy life. Sittin' on your biscuit, never havin' to risk it.

Michael: Pam, depression is as scary as a baler, right?
Pam: I don't understand the question.

Michael: You know what our killer is?
Dwight: Wolves.

Michael: Find out whose car that is. If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes.

Dwight: Temporarily lifting The Shun.
Andy: Thank you.
Dwight: Means nothing. I need you to do something for me.
Andy: Anything.
Dwight: Ok, calm down.

Andy: Do you want a draw bridge?
Dwight: Unshun. Yeah, that sounds good. Reshun.

Dwight: When you land, try and land like an 8 year old.

Andy: When is this shunning thing gonna end?
Dwight: Unshun. Never. Reshun.

Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut.

Kevin: If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.

Jim: Hey... Michael. Don't jump on the bouncy castle.

Darryl: It takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every, single day knowing full well, you gotta be you.
Michael: You really mean that?
Darryl: I couldn't do it.

1 comment:

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