Just Like on TV

HIATUS.

Interlude

Dear Coach Taylor,

I love Dillon, TX almost as much as you do. Maybe more, because aside from everything, I feel I fully appreciate ALL of Matt Saracen and Tim Riggins' various talents and abilities off the football field. BUT, as a caring, concerned ... let's just say ... friend, I have a few things I'd like to put on your radar.

First, your QB1 is making out with his grandmother's nurse. And said grandmother's nurse is giving The Saracen, "the nod." You know what I mean. It's dangerous. As Ross Gellar once shouted at Rachel and Phoebe, "DANGER!" I mean, let's face it, the nurse is better than the Texas haired cheerleader with awesome car knowledge, but still, her presence is cliched and undesired. Got me? I think it's time for one of your famous father figure Matt chats.

Also, Riggins, whom you threw off the team and are now watching for signs of loyalty and desire to be a Panther, is homeless. He's living with a guy who has dog pens or... something. I really think you should take him in and let him see how the Taylor house is run. Except maybe keep him away from Julie and Tami's sister. He's a charmer, that one.

Then there's the matter of John from Cincinnati. He's trying to get in your daughter's pants and if there's anything we learned from Mary Kay LeTourneau and Dawson's Creek, this particular breed of storyline never really works that well (worse, it's just a truly terrible cop out). Just my observation, of course, but I feel it's warranted.

On that note, I'd like to bring up the number of new characters making their presence known in the Lone Star State. Tami's sister, Glen, Landry's dad, Lyla's prison pal, the pervert teacher, the soccer coach, the nurse, the big haired cheerleader being used to make Julie jealous ... I mean, really. Street and Riggins got shafted in this episode to make room for people we care less about. Granted, if any show can handle it, FNL can, but I really don't want to deal with these people when those I know and love are being pushed to the wayside.

Lastly, I'd like to talk to you about Lance. He killed someone. And he dumped the body. Then his dad helped him cover it up. Reeeeaaaaalllly not a good call considering the number of procedurals I've seen where those in this situation get caught. You should talk to Lance about his crime - it was self defense - and what it means that his police officer father just helped conceal a crime.

I want you to know I bring these things up out of love - for you and your family and town. While Friday Nights are still AMAZING, even with these small annoyances, I fear they could lead to bigger problems in the future. You're a leader - you're THE MAN - I charge you with directing the path.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

The Office: 4x08

The Office

4x08
The Deposition
and
QUOTES

What do you do when your favorite television show airs an absolute gem of an episode and then goes off the air indefinitely?

Tell me!

I chose to put off watching it as long as possible, because honestly, this week was funny, heartfelt and a little bit of everything I love about Dunder Mifflin, but it wasn't anything akin to a season finale. I refuse to accept it as a season finale. Or acknowledge it as one. The entire 22 minutes, all I could think was - what if The Strike steals my season. Where will it pick up next year? Will they skip all those months ahead? What about the tease we were given for the next episode - the one where they had their best table read ever?

So, Michael. See, I love him. I really, truly do. From the cold open with the Post-Its (hysterical), to the deposition and his diary, he has absolutely NO social skills, but if you're loyal to him, he's loyal - to an almost creepy fault - to you. It should be interesting to see how (if we ever get to) his actions at the deposition filter down into what he and Jan have going on. Plus, I laughed for days at some of his lines (see quotes post) - and then, the pushing Toby's tray off the table. CLASSIC. You know I love some Michael/Toby hate and just when poor Toby was sharing his heart ... Michael reconfirms all the reasons why Toby asked Kelly what it felt like to slap her boss.

Jim and Pam are still the cutest. And even if her boyfriend is 12, Pam has it a million times better than Kelly, who has to resort to talking smack - not trash - in order to feel good about her relationship. And the guys, all they wanted to do was play... I definitely enjoyed the Dwight commentary and expertise on the game and the tag at the end with him and Mose was hysterical. Alas, if I dwell to long on any of this goodness, it makes my heart ache with emptiness.

***

Jan: We went over it carefully … and just so that we wouldn’t leave anything up to chance or Michael’s judgement.

Pam: Sometimes I bring him juice. My boyfriend is twelve.

Kelly: What has two skinny chicken legs and sucks at ping pong?

Kelly: I don’t talk trash. I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, “Your momma is so fat, she could eat the Internet.” But smack talk is, happening like, right now. Like, “you’re ugly and I know it for a fact, ’cause I got the evidence. Right there.”

Pam: Kelly's trash talking me because Darryl's beating you.
Jim: What? Seriously? What's she saying.

Kelly: Your boyfriend is so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball.

Kelly: Were Jim’s parents first cousins that were also bad at ping pong?

Jim: Bring me players.

Michael: Are you renewing your divorce vows before my deposition?
Toby: Michael I'm your HR rep. I'm on your side.
Michael: Never. I want him gone. I don't talk until he leaves.

Jan: People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at.

Lawyer: How long have you known the plaintiff?
Michael: I haven’t actually seen it, but I have seen The Firm, and I’m planning on renting The Pelican Brief.

Lawyer: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael: Six years and two months.
Lawyer: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael: That’s what she said.
Lawyer: Excuse me?
Michael: (slowly) That’s what she said.

Michael: Come again? That’s what she said.

Michael: Delivery’s all wrong. She’s butchering it.

Lawyer: Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
Michael: She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what, I call them.
Lawyer: Can you be more specific. Who are the twins?
Michael: To be delicate, they hang off milady’s chest. They … make milk.
Lawyer: You don’t have to go any further.

Michael: And frankly, the timing was nothing short of predominant.

Michael: Well, it depends on how you define “begin.”

Michael: Line.
Lawyer: I’m sorry, what?
Executive: He asked for a line, like in a play.

Court reporter: [reading transcript] Mr. Scott do you realize you just contradicted yourself. I did? Yes you did. Can I go to the bathroom? No. I really have to I've been drinking lots of water. You went five minutes ago. That wasn't to go to the bathroom that was to get out of a question. You still have to answer it. First can I go to the bathroom. No.

Michael: I throw myself at the mercy of the deposition.

Lawyer (reading Michael’s diary): “Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee.”

Lawyer (reading Michael’s diary): “More tomorrow. XOXO, Michael.”

Toby: Um … could you make it 11?

Lawyer (reading Michael’s diary): “Just as hot as Jan, but in a different way.”

Michael (reading Jan’s statement): “I am out of carrots. I am out of sticks.”

Dwight: He has gone from completely hopeless to simply miserable.

Dwight: He works here, dumb ass.

Lawyer (reading David Wallace’s statement): “What do you want me to say? C’mon, he’s a nice guy.”

Kelly: The floppy-haired girl you date won a point.

Michael: You expect to get screwed by your company. But you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.

Head's up...

I'm leaving for Birmingham and Atlanta at 5:15 today, so the likelihood of an update before Sunday is minimal, at best.

It's already been determined I will not be able to catch the (I refuse to call it Season Finale) last Season 4 episode - for now - of The Office until I get home. And while a plan is already in place to watch Friday Night Lights (with two of my obsessive friends from the Facebook group) at its regularly scheduled time, I'm not sure I'll have access to a computer, as I don't own a laptop and don't expect anyone to have theirs with them at the hotel. If I find out differently, perhaps I'll be able to make an FNL post, but no promises!

Hope you'll forgive me, but this trip is essential. As in, fun for me.

I'll be hanging out with my girlfriends at "The Swell Season" show in Atlanta on Saturday night. I kicked myself for missing their show in LA this summer, and wasn't about to pass up a second opportunity, so thank goodness for TIVO and shows streaming on the Internet (hear that, AMPTP).

If you've never heard of "The Swell Season," grab the soundtrack to the movie, Once. Listen. Be mesmerized. (And then check out Glen's band, "The Frames.") And if you haven't seen this movie, it needs to be at the TOP of your DVD list!

Once, the Movie
The Swell Season

Okay, gotta go pack!

How many more do we get?

From what I've gathered via Ausiello, Spoilerfix and various show-specific sites, here's how many episodes we have left of the following (give or take), before the Writer's Strike eats them.

Monday:
Chuck - 5 more
How I Met Your Mother - ?
Heroes - 3 more
Samantha Who - 7 more
Journeyman - ?

Tuesday:
Reaper - between 2 and 4 more
House - 5 more

Wednesday:
Pushing Daisies - 3 more
Private Practice - 3 or 4 more
Gossip Girl - 5 more

Thursday:
The Office - 1 more (cue gnashing of teeth)
Grey's Anatomy - 4 more

Friday:
Friday Night Lights - 9 more

Sunday:
Brothers and Sisters - 5 more

--

So, about 5 more weeks of solid television before it all starts to taper off. Thanks goodness FNL gets it done and will be with us well into the new year - just in time for LOST to begin. And then end again. (Don't get me started right now.)

Random Round-up.

Chuck: I'm still lovin' this show. It's a little bit of everything - action, drama, romance, fantasy and comedy. Geez, Levi cracks me up. He's just so... lovable and adorkable. Perfect casting on their part because I watch him and think, "Man, he's just so ... sincere." It's sweet, really. Plus, come on, last night we had R Bils and Marshall Flinkman in the same episode (who else was cracking up at the gymnast routine?), so I really don't see how they can go wrong. Casey continues to grow on me, simply because I totally understand his complete exasperation in everything and everyone. But my poor Chuck, secret bound and hung up on his romantic cover. Really, Sarah, did you have to lie ... even if you are immune to the Veritaserum poison? Tell Chuckie you like him. You know you wanna.

Gossip Girl: Dang Josh Schwartz and his teenage soap operas. Seriously, there is about as much integrity of story in this show as there is in my pinkie ... but I just can't stop.

Pushing Daisies: Top of my list show, but odd. Honestly, PD is one of a kind unique and quirky, which I love. The dialogue slaps you - quick, funny and sarcastic - in the best way and Lee Pace's delivery of Ned is ... well, I think the whole world has a crush on him. I'm also a fan of the narrator. Love him. Especially when he comments on the story. All that said, I don't necessarily find something to say about PD each week. Mainly because watching it is an escape from my escape. Sure, there are things to comment on, but I know the story of The Pie Hole. I know Ned and Chuck are in love and that Emerson is unabashedly annoyed by everything (another trait I identify with), while Olive pines away for The Piemaker. What keeps me coming each week is that little tag of hope at the end, where Ned and Chuck are the only ones in the room. Romantic. That's what this show is! But not cheesy. Romantic without gouda - the best possible kind.

Private Practice: Watching for Violet and Cooper.

House: 4x07

HOUSE

4x07
Ugly

More Chase this week - good start. But honestly, after finishing, I'm more interested in discussing next week's preview than this week's episode (House collapsing, 13 with tremors, Criss Angel wannabe) - even though there were some fabulous moments tonight (quotes below).

Speaking of Chase, he and Cameron are boring me. I know Jesse and Jen broke up and with new characters, there's not as much time, but COME ON! We invested in their relationship for three years. And nothing. You know, besides her getting all hot and bothered about House and discussing it with Chase. On camera. *sigh*

And I'm not really sure what the point was in bringing the CIA doctor into the mix - other than proving that Thirteen is smart and solidifying her as one of the final fellows and not just a pretty face. I mean, we all know House likes the ladies and the inappropriate comments (I maintain that he and Cuddy are hot for each other), so why bring this chick in for two episodes just to tell us what we already knew?

Amongst it all, there are still some things I can count on, and while there has been a shocking lack recently, House and Wilson together continues to be one of the consistently funny rocks of the show. I love it. Seriously. I want to be friends with them.

In other news, I really wanted Cuddy's outfit tonight. So cute. What? I know it has nothing to do with plot or story, but I don't care.

Who doesn't like Patch Adams?

Camerawoman: Pretend we're not here.
House: If I do that, won't I bump into you?

House: It's a joke. See, I became a doctor because of the movie, Patch Adams.

House: I think she might be an idiot.

House: She was able to identify that they were good ideas.
Wilson: Stab in the dark, here. Is she pretty?
House: She's new. She's nervous.
Wilson: She's a C cup.

House: Hey, hey, hey, hey! You have an all access pass to the case, not my Fave Five.

Wilson: Thirteen's pretty. You're obviously okay with her.
House: She killed a patient.
Wilson: The Bitch is pretty.
House: The Bitch is a bitch.
Wilson: Ask her out.
House: The Bitch? She's a bitch.

Wilson: Pretty girl kill again?