Dear Coach Taylor,
I love Dillon, TX almost as much as you do. Maybe more, because aside from everything, I feel I fully appreciate ALL of Matt Saracen and Tim Riggins' various talents and abilities off the football field. BUT, as a caring, concerned ... let's just say ... friend, I have a few things I'd like to put on your radar.
First, your QB1 is making out with his grandmother's nurse. And said grandmother's nurse is giving The Saracen, "the nod." You know what I mean. It's dangerous. As Ross Gellar once shouted at Rachel and Phoebe, "DANGER!" I mean, let's face it, the nurse is better than the Texas haired cheerleader with awesome car knowledge, but still, her presence is cliched and undesired. Got me? I think it's time for one of your famous father figure Matt chats.
Also, Riggins, whom you threw off the team and are now watching for signs of loyalty and desire to be a Panther, is homeless. He's living with a guy who has dog pens or... something. I really think you should take him in and let him see how the Taylor house is run. Except maybe keep him away from Julie and Tami's sister. He's a charmer, that one.
Then there's the matter of John from Cincinnati. He's trying to get in your daughter's pants and if there's anything we learned from Mary Kay LeTourneau and Dawson's Creek, this particular breed of storyline never really works that well (worse, it's just a truly terrible cop out). Just my observation, of course, but I feel it's warranted.
On that note, I'd like to bring up the number of new characters making their presence known in the Lone Star State. Tami's sister, Glen, Landry's dad, Lyla's prison pal, the pervert teacher, the soccer coach, the nurse, the big haired cheerleader being used to make Julie jealous ... I mean, really. Street and Riggins got shafted in this episode to make room for people we care less about. Granted, if any show can handle it, FNL can, but I really don't want to deal with these people when those I know and love are being pushed to the wayside.
Lastly, I'd like to talk to you about Lance. He killed someone. And he dumped the body. Then his dad helped him cover it up. Reeeeaaaaalllly not a good call considering the number of procedurals I've seen where those in this situation get caught. You should talk to Lance about his crime - it was self defense - and what it means that his police officer father just helped conceal a crime.
I want you to know I bring these things up out of love - for you and your family and town. While Friday Nights are still AMAZING, even with these small annoyances, I fear they could lead to bigger problems in the future. You're a leader - you're THE MAN - I charge you with directing the path.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!