Thursday, May 10, 2007
May God guide you in your quest.
Pam: About 40 times a year, Michael gets really sick, but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.
Michael: May God guide you in your quest.
Michael: I suggest that you all go potty now and then we will be congregating on the par-tay bus.
Oscar: I don't wear a speedo.
Michael: Well, you can't swim in leather pants. Ha... I'm just yankin' your chain. Not literally.
Toby: Anybody need sunblock? I've got SPF 30.
Michael: Ohh... You know what? You're not going.
Michael: I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it, then it will suck.
Michael: What happens to a company if someone takes the boss away? I will answer you question with a question. It's like what happens to a chicken when you take it's head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to find out which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.
Michael: If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus.
Stanley: Excuse me?
Michael: Or the front of the bus. Or drive the bus.
Michael: We are all participating in mandatory fun activities. Funtivities!
Michael: You know what, you're enthusiasm is turning people off.
Dwight: I hope there will be management parables.
Michael: You've just been drawing pictures. Grrrr... I can't stay mad at you!
Michael: Jim Halpert. Pros? Smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anybody you know? Cons? Not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project and he will finish the same project in half an hour. That should tell you something.
Michael: Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office, he loves the work. He is, however, an idiot.
Michael: We're going to choose team names, Dwight.
Dwight: We will be called Gryffindor.
Jim: Really? Not Slytherin?
Dwight: Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim.
Jim: I know. Okay, we will be Voldemort.
Dwight: He Who Must Not Be Named? I wouldn't do that.
Jim: Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!
Michael: Pam, please take a note that Andy is patriotic.
Dwight: Let's go! Let's go! Come on! MUSH! MUSH! Come on, you bastard. What the... damn it, temp!
Michael: I can't say!
Jim: You can't say, or you can't pronounce it?
Stanley: I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head, than work for somebody else in this office beside myself. Game on!
Angela: I will misunderstand everything that Andy says, until he goes insane.
Dwight: If Michael organizes some kind of group hug, stand next to me.
Jim: Oh my god. I have never seen that look in a man's eyes. Ever. I thought that I might die. On Beach Day.
Oscar: If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, I will transfer to Albany, Gil can come if he wants. I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.
Angela: What, Andy? What should I tell them?
Andy: Go tell them I'm floating away, obviously.
Angela: I don't understand what you want from me.
Andy: Angela, it's pretty simple. Look at what I'm doing and go tell somebody it.
Michael: I knew that finding a successor would be difficult. I did not know it would be impossible. Thus far, the candidates have been wildly disappointing. Jim is not taking it seriously, Stanley is having a stroke and Andy. Where is he? Where the hell is Andy? Where is he Pam? Do you know?
Michael: Who's ahead in points?
Pam: I think they're even. At various times you gave Jim 10 points, Dwight a gold star and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.
Michael: Check to see if there's a conversion chart in that notebook.
Jim: If this job is in a well, I don't want it. I don't.
Pam: I'm gonna do it. And I fully expect to burn my feet and go to the hospital.
Andy: Hello? Who's there? My name is Andrew Bernard, I was with a group called Dunder-Mifflin. Hello?
Michael: The mind... has to wrap around... the foot.
Angela: Or Mrs. Outside Hire.
Michael: Yeah... mmmhmmm... true.
Kelly: Who's Bob Hope?
Michael: God. He's a comedian.
Kelly: Oh, like Amanda Bynes.
Michael: Who's Amanda Bynes?
Kelly: She's from What A Girl Wants.
Michael; Oh, I love that movie. Yes, Kelly is right. The person to replace me has to have a great sense of humor and they have to possess the leadership qualities of a Bynes or a Hope.
Pam: Hey! I wanna say something. I’ve been trying to be more honest lately and I just need to say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn’t even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. Wow, I feel really good right now... Why didn’t any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It’s like sometimes some of you act like I don’t even exist... Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we’re not even friends... And things are just, like, weird between us and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you. I shouldn’t have been with Roy. And there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding, but the truth is I didn’t care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you’re with someone else and that’s fine. It’s... whatever. That’s not what I’m... I’m not... okay my feet really hurt. The thing that, I’m just trying to say to you Jim - and to everyone else in the circle, I guess - is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle... Okay, I am gonna go walk in the water now. Yeah... it's a good day.
Michael: Pam, that was amazing, I'm just looking for someone with a sales background.